Grihasthashrama is most commonly mocked by even most married folk, irrespective of gender. Personal shortcomings and frustrations are foisted on the entire ashrama and it is viewed as a necessary evil. There are growing trends around the world that shake its very foundation like urbanization, demography changes, wanting to be single, unable to get married, infidelity (worse yet promoted by some lunatic Supreme Court judges) and worse yet the gender confusion movements. Despite all the odds, Grihasthashrama is the foundation of humanity and more importantly the other ashramas.
Earlier we obtained some crucial marriage tips from Srimad Bhagavatam. We also got the basics of good marriage from Sita-Anusuya samvada. We got more insights from Kausalya-Sita samvada. Even the glorious Sathyabama came to the feet of Draupadi for pointers on marriage. Continuing this tradition of learning from the masters and their conversation, we delve into this wondrous history.
The blessed story of Swetaketu and Suvarchala:
Yudhishtra was deeply interested in the lecture on Moksha Dharma. This is found in the Shanti Parva book of the Mahabharata. This story occurs in the Kumbakonam recension. A natural question arose in the mind of Yudhishtra, as his personal desire was to abandon the kingdom and head to the forest, while Bhishma’s prescription was to remain as a Raja and Grihastha. So he desired to know if one were to remain as a Grihastha, what is the best possible scenario and if any role models existed? Bhishma narrated the history of Swetaketu and Suvarchala to highlight the glories of an ideal marriage, which is curative of the ailment of Samsara.
Glory of Suvarchala: There was a Brahmarishi called Devala, renowned for his Dharma-centric life, replete with worship of Devas and Brahmanas. He had a daughter, Suvarchala, who was famed for her beauty and good qualities. As the marriageable age drew closer, Devala started pondering about a suitable groom. He expected such a Brahmana to be a good Vedic scholar, not already married, one with sweet talk and one who is capable of doing serious Tapasya. Approaching her father in private, Suvarchala added a clause that her husband has to be blind but must be able to see. A shocked Devala even questioned her sanity, but she remained firm. She agreed to a Swayamvara and banked on the wisdom of such a Vedic scholar to hold her hands in marriage. Devala sent his disciples to explore and bring a suitable Brahmana from a noble birth, with both parents having a good pedigree and both parents being alive, having good character, health, clear intellect, well versed in Vedas, having observed Brahmacharya.
Hearing the fame of Devala and character of Suvarchala, many rishiputras and Brahmanas assembled to win her hand. Devala gave the choice to Suvarchala to pick her suitable husband. Suvarchala relayed her qualification for her husband, which irritated many as they were befuddled by it. They thought it was a trick to mock them, so they went their own frustrated ways.
Solution to the riddle: As Suvarchala continued to reside at her father’s ashram, one day, a Brahmachari named Swetaketu, who had command over the Vedas and its inner meaning, one who was a Truth Seeker, deep rooted in Dharma and deeply advanced in the search of Atman, who had living parents approached Devala, having heard of Suvarchala’s unique requirement. Knowing his background as the illustrious son of Uddalaka Aruni, the one who thundered “Tattavamasi, Swetaketu” in Chandogya Upanishad, excited Devala approached his daughter to marry him.
Swetaketu addressed Suvarchala and declared he was a blind person with good eyesight. One who cannot see, touch, smell, taste or hear the world without the prism of Atman is considered as blind by the Shastras. Atman has to guide the manas and Buddhi, else such a person is considered blind. Since I don’t have that vision, I am blind though having perfect eyesight. Swetaketu added that he performs the Nithyanaimityaka Karmas with a worldly vision. The goal of marriage is to translate this worldly vision into Atma Drishti. But having basic understanding and not yet realized, his mind is calm and contented. Having won her heart with his deep wisdom, the couple were married by a very pleased Devala. Swetaketu promised to be her Bharta, the supporter of Dharma and her, whilst she agreed to be his Dharmapatni, one who will keep Dharma balanced in their lives.
Highest ideals in Grihasthashrama: Swetaketu set some expectations for their Grihasthashrama. He expected her to observe the duties prescribed by the Vedas just as he was observing. As both of them still have the “I” consciousness, it is imperative to perform the Nithyanaimityika Karmas. As the fire of Jnana burns bright, the idea of “I-ness” must be burnt in it, while continuing to perform the Karmas. The world merely follows the ideal person who leads by example. Thus by living an ideal life, one elevates the standards for the world and helps it prosper. Swetaketu thus lived a very high idealistic life, raised children to please Devas and had a very uplifting example for the noble Suvarchala.
Suvarchala asks her husband, “Who are you”: This couple lead a contented life that was the role model for everyone. One day, Suvarchala asked her husband, please tell me “Who are you?”. The smiling Swetaketu, asked her, having addressed me and knowing me, why do you ask this question. Suvarchala clarified that she wanted to know about the Atman that is deeply hidden behind the Manas.
Swetaketu clarified that the Atman wont speak. It is beyond name and form. The body is related to birth. Though we misunderstand that I exist only in the body, this idea I-ness transcends body. Atman is not contained in the body. Suvarchala, deeply dharmic in nature, was enjoying the purport of such wondrous words of her husband.
Swetaketu’s wisdom: Having realized that husband has obtained Jnana through Karma Yoga, she sought refuge at his feet and begged to share his wisdom. Swetaketu reminded again that good examples are needed for the masses. As one strives to live an ideal life, their life is the inspiration and role model for others. Without such examples, society will fall into perpetual decay. Thus living by high standards and aligning with Dharma pleases Sri Hari, the one who created and sustains this world. This world is his Leela. His Vibhutis and Maya as infinite. The one who is wise enough to chop the roots of Samsara, this very birth, is identified with me, says Sri Hari. The one who is mired in bad Karmas is dragged to lower births. So living an ideal life, pleasing Hari, uplifts the world.
Shabda and its meaning: “What is Shabda/Sound?”, “What is its meaning?”, asked Suvarchala. Swetaketu said a collection of syllables, which are represented by akshara, constitute sound. The intending object represented by the sound is its meaning. Suvarchala wondered what is the connection between words and their meaning. Swetaketu said there is no permanence in the sound and its meaning. Suvarchala demanded more clearer explanation on the impermanence between sound and its meaning. Swetaketu said by repeated attributing of the meaning to the sound, a connection is established. He clarified that just like there is space and earth, though earth is in space, a similar relationship exists for words and meaning.
Insights on Atman: Suvarchala now addressed the real question on her mind. The idea of “I”, ahamkara is attached to Atman. Swetaketu explained that the shabda/sound “I” denotes the Ahamkara and not the Atman. Words and sounds can only relate with objects perceived by the BMI (Body, Mind, Intellect) apparatus. Suvarchala pleaded to clarify the differences between Ahamkara and Atman.
Swetaketu explained that just like pot is mere modification of clay, Ahamkara is attributed to that of Atman. It is beyond the reach of the intellect. Ideas like “I, We, It” are foisted on Atman. Words and sound do not touch the Atman. Just like the earth rattling through space appears to be in space, actions don’t bind Atman. Atman is unique and is not perceptible.
Suvarchala countered that space is perceptible as formless, attributeless and not having parts. How is the Atman having consciousness realized? Swetaketu responded, objects in space are felt by touch, smell, taste and sight, yet we do not actually comprehend space. Atman is subtler than space. Even the space and other bhutas are foisted upon it. Atman is the same as Satya and Sri Vishnu. Words, attributes, character is foisted upon this Paramatma.
Paramatma is omnipresent, but is far beyond the reach of senses, mind and intellect. A pure intellect will reflect this Atman and only thus we can realize. Just like a small pot is completely encompassed by a huge pot, the entire Prapancha is within the Atman, which is beyond gender. Its nature is of Jnana. The admixture of the Bhutas give rise to the differences in the appearance of the Atman. Just like water quenches thirst, the Vedas provide the wisdom and the path to Atman.
Suvarchala wanted to know how the Vedas take one to Atman. Swetaketu observed that Vedas do not describe Atman, but instead provides pointers. Thus despite being words/sound, they are not devoid of meaning. As it reinforces the path of Sanatana, the Vedas most certainly lead to Paramatma. He recommended her to meditate upon Atman to develop Jnana. This Atman radiates and fills the manas, which is Atma Jnana. The difference that we see as you and me is an expression of Ahamkara.
Suvarchala continued to serve her husband filled with Atma Jnana and in time was filled with the same. They continued to do perform their regular Nityanaimityika Karmas but offered them the Omnipresent Paramatma Sri Hari. Thus living in Grihasthashrama this wondrous couple attained Moksha.
Practical applications:
Spouse: The qualities of a spouse play a central role. Whilst money, power, fame, physique all figure in modern day requirements, character, being rooted in dharma and Vedas. There is more importance given to the wedding than marriage. We have reduced marriage to an institution for untamed kama fest. This refreshing incident reminds us that Moksha, the highest goal is possible, despite being tied up in the samsaric ways of Grihasthashrama.
Karmas: The couple complement each other in performing the prescribed Nityanaimityika Karmas. In the modern marriage, even doing the most fundamental ideas have been rigged. Sanatana Dharma views having children as repaying the Pitr runa. Modern couples think of the impact on their budget and lifestyle. Sadly we see the effects of such perverted thinking in the demographies of Japan, South Korea, China and most of Europe. Sadder than the fact that most Hindu couples do not perform their Karma is the their ignorance of what is Dharma or Karma.
The synergy of marriage helps the couple to evolve faster by aiding each other. At the grossest level, this can be seen where both are high income generating and can stash a lot quickly. But the key component of the Grihasthashrama is Dharma and performing Karmas. We also learn how we do the Karmas is as important as doing it.
Atma vichara: This is the essence we get from this story as both Swetaketu and Suvarchala are driven to seek, discuss and grow with Atma Vichara. This is a direct effect of doing our Swadharma with the right attitude. This creates the suitable ecosystem to encourage us to ponder about Atman. As there are two sadakas performing their duties and yoked in the sadhana of Grihasthashrama, their complementary effect is amazing. We find all rishis were practicing Grihasthashrama and very few set the example of Sannyasa. Yajnavalkya and Maitreyi provide yet another great example of Atma vichara in married life. The importance grows as one ages. In today’s day and age, become a Vanaprasthi may be literally impossible. But following Swetaketu and Suvarchala role model is very practical.
In this model, there is no divorce or squabbles with the spouse. Dharma is the focus and doing our Karmas is a Yajna. Every opportunity to evolve and grow benefits the world. Money is not a distraction as the main attention is on Atman. It all begins with the parents following these standards and educating their children. Such children will know exactly what is needed in their spouses and will choose well. Yoked together and driven by the quest of Atman, even everyday mundane activities become a Sadhana. With the progressive purification of our Gunakarmas, the couple steadily ascend to the highest peak of Moksha even in the most Samsara driven world.
It all begins with our individual commitment to Atman, not waiting or blaming the spouse. As we experience the transformation, it rubs on to the other. But it requires commitment to swadharma, performing our Karmas with a proper attitude and rigorous sadhana. This will eventually transfer to our children and beyond. This is the only way Grihasthashrama can help us combat the evil effects of Kali Yuga. May we all absorb this wonderful message of Bhishma and see the blessings in our life.
ॐ तत् सत
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