Rama's love for Sita - Agnipariksha 2

            Having taken a peek at Rama’s character, now let us engage in taking a glimpse at Rama’s love for Sita.

Rama’s love for Sita exudes throughout Ramayana, yet it gets masked beautifully by the different rasas narrated by Valmiki. Unearthing this love and showcasing it will enable us to realize the magnitude of Rama’s love for Sita and the horrible blunder one can make in even thinking of questioning it by applying overtones of his doubt on her character. The biggest fallacy one can make is to consider Rama and Sita are separate. One of Bhagwan’s name is Srinivas, which implies Narayana is inseparable from Lakshmi. He is identified even in pralaya (cosmic dissolution) by her presence, according to SriVaishnava tradition. Yet for the purposes of our understanding, let us follow this spatio-temporal separation.

            Rama is known to be a mithabashi, one who speaks very little, taciturn. Yet the most he is captured speaking in Valmiki Ramayana is trying to prevent Sita from going along with him to the forest. He labors at length, trying to reason with her at the perils of a forest life. By the same token, he barely does raise so many objections for Lakshmana’s desire to accompany. He merely checks for his sincerity to come. 

            During the conversation, he declares to Sita that like the Self created Brahma, he is fearless. Yet when he sees Sita in grief, he does not even desire Svarga.

न देवि तव दुह्खेन स्वर्गम् अपि अभिरोचये | न हि मे अस्ति भयम् किंचित् स्वयम्भोर् इव सर्वतः || (2-30-27)

Though he approves her to accompany, he repeatedly expresses his displeasure to take her to forest and subject her to the vagaries of life in it. 

मम सन्ना मतिः सीते त्वाम् नेतुम् दण्डकावनम् |(2-30-39)

He keeps reiterating his love for her by declaring that even svarga without Sita is unacceptable to him. (नेदानीम् त्वदृते सीते स्वर्गोऽपि मम रोचते || (2-30-42)

Rama and Sita shared an ideal marital relationship. Sita had the complete liberty to be herself. Shortly after visiting Maharishi Suteekshana, she plays the role of a minister by reminding of his promise to wipe the asuras and not to merely spend all the time in peaceful forest life amidst the wondrous rishis.

         Rama declares that he is willing to even forego his own life, even Lakshmana and Sita, but never go back on his promise, especially the ones he had given to the Brahmanas (rishis in this case) 

अपि अहम् जीवितम् जह्याम् त्वाम् वा सीते स लक्ष्मणाम् || (3-10-18b)
न तु प्रतिज्ञाम् संश्रुत्य ब्राह्मणेभ्यो विशेषतः |
 

He is quick to assure Sita’s place in the pecking order as even above his own life. Since Sita is an ardent follower of dharma and always wants to ensure Rama’s dharmic adherence, Rama is very happy to note that Sita is loftier than his life.  सधर्म चारिणी मे त्वम् प्राणेभ्यो अपि गरीयसी || (3-10-21)

Rama being a devoted husband is very protective of Sita, especially against sinister elements. We see this during Viraadha’s episode (Read more in How Rama’s opponents saw him). Rama declares the grief of others touching Sita (without her approval) was paramount and more than seeing the demise of his father or the loss of his kingdom. 

पर स्पर्शात् तु वैदेह्या न दुःखतरम् अस्ति मे | पितुर् विनाशात् सौमित्रे स्व राज्य हरणात् तथा || (3-2-21)

Rama is willing to even entertain a chat with Shoorpanaka, a rakshasi (read more in How female opponents saw Rama), but the minute he saw Sita’s life in danger, asks Lakshmana to defend her. As if Rama remembered the Viraadha episode in conjunction with his conversation with Sita about his sworn duty to protect the rishis, he is eager to prove his prowess. During his war with Khara and Dhushana he takes them on single handedly and destroys them in a brief time, yet ensures Sita is far away in a cave with Lakshmana. The episode was also to instill hope to Sita which will help her tide the upcoming abduction and separation episode. Pleasing Sita was Rama’s prime desire. We see that was the reason why Mareecha was able to tantalize Sita into tricking her as a golden deer.

Rama’s lamentation continues for more sargas than any other single idea in Ramayana. While it is very heart wrenching to read the outbursts of Rama, one cannot help note the deep love he has for Sita. He thunders to Lakshmana that unless Devas restore Sita to him immediately, he will make the Universe devoid of Devas and Asuras. His wrath knows no limits. A world devoid of Sita is a good reason for him to chastise the entire Universe, though he had deduced the abduction was the act of a single asura.

It is critical to make note of this episode of Rama’s fury, as it takes Lakshmana’s reasoning to save the Universe from Rama’s arrows.

The plight of Sita, her love for Rama and the grief she was willing to subject herself to honor her love for Rama is very evident. But even the most casual reader of the text cannot help notice the deep pining of Rama and his constant lamentations. Even the most beautiful scenery on the shores of Pampa lake only adds fuel to Rama’s misery while they were looking for Sugreeva.

When Rama meets Sugreeva to form a pact of friendship, he brings the jewelry thrown at him by Sita. He shares it with Rama, who falls on the ground wailing. Rama hints to the mortally wounded Vaali why he cannot take his help though he was superior to Sugreeva in combat. (Read Subtle Dharma behind Vaali vadam). At the heels of his coronation, Sugreeva’s hedonistic lifestyle, ignoring the promise made to Rama and the anguish of Sita’s separation was ripping Rama’s heart, yet, he never wavers from dharma. Rama sends a strong message through Lakshmana, besides amply cautioning his brother to not lose his temper. Rama sets an example of how to identify the correct resource for the task when he not only chose Hanuman, but also gave him his signet ring and other information to be relayed to Sita. This only highlights that Rama was so centered on dharma that despite the emotions that went through him, it never affected his actions.

Rama’s love for Sita is very intense. When Hanuman brings the news of Sita’s discovery along with her message to give up her life in a month’s time, Rama wonders that Sita may be very strong as she can live without his presence for a month. He pines that he cannot even live without Sita for a moment. (चिरम् जीवति वैदेही यदि मासम् धरिष्यति | क्षणम् सौम्य न जीवेयम् विना ताम् असित ईक्षणाम् || (5-66-10)

Despite all the sorrow, when the news of Sita’s presence in Lanka was announced by Hanuman, Rama wastes not a moment. At the next auspicious hour, he orders the troops to head to the coast. Rama tries to please Saagara by his three night prayers. His extreme love for Sita and the time she gave Rama to rescue her evaporating made him extremely furious. He was willing to dry up the oceans, if that was the only option to reach Lanka with his army. Again Saagara had to come in person, provide a proper acceptable solution.

As a part of the extreme psychological warfare unleashed on Sita and Rama-Lakshmana, Indrajit, Ravana’s son, kills a maya Sita in front of Hanuman. When the most reliable Hanuman himself got tricked, he carried the news to Rama, who faints. It takes Vibhishana a herculean task to get Rama out of the boundless sorrow of the imagined Sita’s death. This happens only few days prior to meeting Sita. If Rama’s heart was harboring doubts as alleged by scholars who never read Ramayana or the ones bent on misinterpreting, they will have to explain how the doubt came in a few days amidst a terrible battle. Doubting is a mindset that is a virtual antithesis of Rama’s deep love for Sita.

It is interesting that both Rama and Sita at different junctures conclude that they both are undergoing the terrible times owing to the past bad karmas. While Rama deems himself as a blameworthy wrongdoer second to none, Sita repents for her past actions (against Lakshmana?). In case of Rama, we cannot find anything odd he has ever done to go through such terrible times. For Paramathma, his actions are mere divine play and only he can illumine why he chose to do things in a certain way. But in case of Sita, the message we gather is very different. Everyone, especially the exemplary people in the society, must adhere to very high standards of dharma. Even justifiable scenarios cannot be a pretext to waver from dharma.

Rama’s love for Sita is supreme, yet his adherence to dharma, even if it be at his own cost seems to be a virtue he exemplifies.  We see this in the methods he deploys to find partners to search, methods to search, lead an army and even on the battlefield. Dharma adherence of this caliber happens only when one goes beyond selfishness. We must recall Janaka’s words at the time of Sita’s panigrihhana -  इयम् सीता मम सुता सह धर्म चरी तव || (1-73-26) . Rama’s firm interest and love in Sita is rooted in her being the epitome of dharma paripalana. 

            If Rama is dharma personified (vigrahavan dharma) the Sita is dharma through actions. Rama is more than aware of this fact; hence he seems very incomplete in the absence of Sita. This is not to be misinterpreted that his love was only because Sita was the highest representative of dharma, but because there is no difference between Rama and Sita as they are the highest embodiment of dharma. Nothing can be more absurd than holding on to the hallucination that Rama doubted Sita. 

            This point gets self evident from Lakshmana’s words in Ayodhya Kanda, where Rama tries to persuade Lakshmana to return to Ayodhya with Sumantra. Lakshmana makes a passionate plea that neither Sita nor he will be able to live for a muhurta if separated from Rama, just as a fish cannot live without water.

न च सीता त्वया हीना न च अहम् अपि राघव | मुहूर्तम् अपि जीवावो जलान् मत्स्याव् इव उद्धृतौ || (2-53-31)

            This clearly is enough evidence that Sita and Rama are one principle, but embodied as two beings. Lakshmana is eager to include himself into the equation of Rama-Sita to highlight his love for Rama.

We will uncover more in our final insight into Understanding Agnipariksha.

Om Tat Sat