Forgiveness - one of Mahabharata's central themes

Forgiveness is a crucial step to be mastered, if anyone aspires for spiritual progress or lasting peace. When we are subjected to abuse, victimization, unjust oppression or bullying, the natural recourse for our pent up reactions, which may be unexpressed owing to the situations, is to harbor vicious thoughts of vengeance or get oppressed by the brutal pressure outside that gets internalized. In a variant form it may be our own mistakes, omissions, regrets, failures or past baggage that can turn into guilt and shame about us. In either forms of internalization, the individual harbors the poison inside. The longer one harbors, the more toxic it gets. Any expression of this toxic mindset is bound to be explosive, yet at the same time it is easy to understand that most damage is caused to the vessel that harbors. Forgiveness is the internal rebalancing of this inner rage or guilt, need for seeking external justice and arrive at a more stable state.

This is often misunderstood as pardoning the guilty as we conflate the idea of forgiveness, inside the victim’s mind, with the necessity for society to provide justice and retribution and also protection from the aggressor. Society and Courts can provide pardon, not forgiveness, which must be done by the individual(s). Many times, society fails to punish the guilty, thereby creating an ecosystem for more adharma to flourish. This is not the excuse to redirect our inner indignation to effect a change. One may do so as long as one has mastered forgiveness, before effecting the changes without violating dharma. 

Storytime: Let us not get into the metaphorical or other aspects and focus only on our key question on how forgiveness (or its lack) and its dimensions. We will use Mahabharata incidents to understand how lack of forgiveness perpetuates more violence. 
 

Spite continues through Janmas: Bhishma is the embodiment of impeccable character in Mahabharata. In an ancient practice, he represented his step-brother, Vichitravirya in a Swayamwara. He brings the three princesses of Kashi - Amba, Ambika and Ambalika. Since Amba pleaded her pre-existing love for Salwa, King of Saubala, Bhishma sends her honorably to him, who spurns her for being a reject. Unable to inspire Vichitravirya, she asks Bhishma to marry her, who was bound by Brahmacharya vow. Burning with rage due to rejection, she convinced Parasurama, one of the gurus of Bhishma to wage war with him for 23 days, after which Bhishma showed his edge. 

            Due to her intense anger, she did a long penance to become the reason for Bhishma’s death. She was later born as a princess/eunuch to Drupada, eventually got his gender changed to become prince Shikandi. Bhishma, the unstoppable in Mahabharata, knew he was the reason why both sides were in a stalemate and Pandavas were staring at an impossibility to establish Dharma, gave his secret to his elimination. Keeping Shikandi in his chariot, Arjuna attacked Bhishma on Day 10. Bhishma did not counter him effectively as he could never to attack a woman as a warrior. 

Our take away: Hate and lack of forgiveness is so strong that it will go across many janmas. If Amba had used her tapas, her contacts with Parasurama and other mahatmas, she could have easily attained any Purushartha. Instead she wasted it on mere vengeance. Secondly due to the intensity of desire and multiple rejections, she refused to see that Bhishma was guilty though in her mind, she was convinced of it. Lack of forgiveness color our understanding and cast long dark shadows even across Janmas.

Darkness doesn’t learn even in death: Tamasic people hold their grudge longer. Since there is no opportunity for their education or reformation, the best option is never to cross paths with such characters. Duryodhana was already burning with jealousy at the riches of the newly built empire in Indraprastha. During his stay, he got tricked by the various illusory contraptions. Draupadi laughed at his folly, but the inferno of jealousy raging in Duryodhana’s heart got an upgrade and a reason. He plotted their fall through deception and evil, abused Draupadi in the presence of all the elders in the Sabha and got the Pandavas banished.

            Tamas knows no limits. He refused to hold his end of the bargain and caused Mahabharata war to kill millions. Even after lecturing Krishna and the Pandavas that their victory was built on Adharmic means, he resorts to the ultimate disgrace of authorizing a night time attack on the sleeping survivors of the Pandava army under the leadership of Aswattama. Only the five Pandavas survive with Krishna and Satyaki, along with the lone Kaurava survivor, Yuyutsu.

Our take away: Deep Tamas doesn’t change with even death. When dealing with such characters, the law must be firmly dealt as they show no remorse in their actions. One must be clear to differentiate pardon and forgiveness in these cases of extremes and note pardoning may not be the option for extremely tamasic people. We see modern day equivalence in pardoning terrorists does no change of heart and they are back to their old destructive evil ways in no time.

Lack of forgiveness can be inter-generational: Lack of forgiveness wipes out compassion and buddhi. Drupada, the King of Panchala and Drona were friends while studying in Parasurama’s ashrama. Due to extreme poverty, Drona eager to make Drupada’s childhood words of wanting to share the Kingdom true, sought half the Kingdom. This definitely was unrealistic as Drona did not need a Kingdom for his needs. Drupada scorned and sent him disgraced. Burning with this insult, Drona began to teach both the Pandavas and Kauravas about weapon use. For Gurudakshina, he sought Drupada captured alive. The Pandavas under Arjuna achieved this, after the failed mission of the Kauravas. Drona instead of acting mature, kept half the kingdom to rub insult to injury.

            Drupada got a son, Dhrishtadyumna, who was born to kill Drona and a daughter, Draupadi, who will marry Arjuna, through a Yajna. On the 15^th day of Mahabharata war, Drona crossed all moral limits in war, not even heeding to the pleas of Rishis. Krishna resorted to spreading a rumor that Ashwattama was killed. A dejected Drona sat in Yoga to give up his life voluntarily, even as Dhrishtadyumna decapitated the lifeless body.

            Ashwattama now was stung by the same internal rage that Drona and Drupada carried for decades. He convinced Duryodhana to make him the commander in chief of the side that was already defeated. Along with Kripa and Kritavarma, they attacked and destroyed the unsuspecting victorious Pandava side, wiping out all the survivors. Only the Pandavas, Krishna and Satyaki survived. Even after the battle to avenge for this horror with Pandavas ended in his defeat, he launched apandavastra and directed it to wipe out an unborn child, Parikshit, in the womb of Uttara. Lack of forgiveness knows no depths. This cycle of madness was stopped due to the curse of Krishna and Vyasa who pushed him to live a long life, until the Yuga is not over, in repentance.

Our take away: Repentance and Prayaschita will have to be in proportion to the actions done by an unforgiving heart. Lack of forgiveness kills empathy, thereby effectively making one insensitive to one’s own actions. It is a mad poison that can be infectious. Just like crusades or even prophecies of some desert religions to wipe out all others from the face of the earth, it blunts the next generation from developing a heart or brain.

Inside inferno can last long: After establishing Indraprastha, Krishna and Arjuna found themselves in a predicament. Agni sought their help to consume Khandavavana in the guise of a Brahmana, which they agreed. He gave them many celestial weapons and a chariot for this effort. Indra had a friend Takshaka, a naga who lived in this forest. In order to protect him, Indra led a valiant attack in vain. The only survivors of the conflagration were Aswasena, son of Takshaka, Maya (through surrender to Arjuna), and four sarngka birds.

            Aswasena though he escaped death, saw his mother perish in it, trying to protect him. Years of harboring hatred, he secretly entered Karna’s quiver. Due to its modified form, Arjuna is not able to counter it time, as Krishna saves him by pressing his toe to sink the chariot a little. The angry Aswasena reveals his intentions and pleads Karna for one more shot only to be rejected. 

Our take away: Internalized unforgiveness keeps its embers alive, waiting for a proper time to erupt. Due to this, the normal buddhi gets blunted and our colored perception alters our actions. Let us look within and forgive ourselves by cleansing, giving up those spiteful or guilty thoughts which hold us back.

Yudhishtra - the right example: Since his birth, he saw his brothers and mother being oppressed and bullied. Despite many attempts on life, he remained true to higher values. It was not due to fear that he suppressed his indignation, but due to superior buddhi and compassion. Even after the lakshagraha incident, he laid low and only the marriage of Draupadi exposed their cover. Though Duryodhana piled so many obscene acts of horror in their lives, he guided the Pandavas to safety. He kept his inner cove free from anger, hate and guilt. Whenever his mind was tormented by the past and the burden of the future very heavy, he surrendered to the feet of countless sages to guide him like Dhaumya, Markandeya and others. 

            Even when Duryodhana was caught by Chitrasena, he orders Bhima and Arjuna to save him with no ill feeling towards him. When Jayadratha abducted Draupadi, he forgives him by sparing his life for the sake of his cousin sister, Dussala, Dhritarashtra and Gandhari’s only daughter married to Jayadratha. He tried to the lone voice that pleads to stop the carnage by seeking Krishna to go on a peace mission that ends in vain. His heart is so rooted in dharma that he grants Yuyutsu, Dhritarashtra’s son from his vysya wife, permission to fight on his side. 

            Yet there is a moment of total dejection, as his mind can only blame itself for the carnage. Luckily, Krishna sends him to fetch the best medicine from Bhishma, who through Shanti Parva transforms his guilt to rise above with his wisdom.

Our take away: Satsanga is the best solution to cleanse our mind from this almost incurable malaise. If a highly dharmic Yudhishtra will need a constant dose of Satsanga to avoid slipping into guilt and shame and temper his anger, it is needless to say that we need more.

Points to ponder:

• Forgiveness unhinges our adamant adherence to the past, which may be due to guilt or vengeance. It gives us the freedom to explore the possibilities in the NOW and thereby decouple our future from the dark past. Else, we get bound to the past heaviness and drown ourselves.

• Forgiveness is an inner rearrangement of one’s own mind. This has no connection to the past or current events or other’s actions. One has to take responsibility for one’s own life and progress.

• Forgiveness is by the individual. Pardon is by the society. Forgiveness is not about the crime or other person(s), but about one’s own mind.

• Justice for the society/individual(s) must not be conflated with pardoning the criminals and forgiveness in the heart. If proper punishment or prayaschita is not done by the perpetrator, it comes back to haunt the society.

• Forgivenesss eliminates the internal toxins associated with the memories of certain past event(s). Decoupling the vice grip of these memories’ over our present helps our buddhi to act more clear and unbiased.

• Forgiveness is an important step in developing Titiksha. Without forgiving, forbearance is impossible; without forbearance having spiritual growth is stagnated.

• If we want our past not to control our potential actions we can do today for better results in the future, we must be willing to renounce our deep hooks to the past by developing forgiveness.

            May we develop the right minds to study and understand the itihasapuranas, Upanishads and other scriptures. A constant commitment to Satsanga at every opportunity will help us heal our hearts and develop the right attitude to others and ourselves. Get dharmic roots will go a long way to helping our cause. Forgiveness will help us scrub the dark stains of our heart. In itself this alone may not be enough to aid our spiritual journey, but it has all the potential to arrest our movement by tying ourselves to some past memories. May we develop genuine love for the real SELF, our Atman and realize lasting inner peace.

ॐ तत् सत