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Saturday, March 13, 2021

Rama's living guide to happy relationships

This is the hundredth blog on Satchitananda Reflections. This milestone was made possible to many sincere readers who are eager to learn more from the roots of Sanatana Dharma. Due to these high expectations, they have made me grow deeper in my Sadana. Special thanks to those who kept encouraging me through comments, calls, texts. I am sincerely humbled at the numerous who shared their experiences of how these blogs, which have evolved also as podcasts and youtube channel, have impacted in their personal lives. Bowing repeatedly to Bhagawan’s lotus feet for his karuna to use this vessel to channel HIS knowledge.

Relationships are at the heart of every human interaction. Even many animals reveal this facet, the importance of which may be ignored by humans. The subject (Jivatma) views, feels and interacts with another in the world (jagat/object). Apart from the bias in the subject’s action or object’s reaction, the state of mind plays a huge role in its perception, adding more bias. Typically this equation is normally understood as relationship. The different colors and hues of relationship have given to a complex understanding of the nature of relationship.

            Is there a simpler basis to all relationships? Is there something beyond the subject-object association? Is there a basis for lasting benefit to the participants? We all perceive the degradation of values in the society, thus resulting in lower quality of relationship overall. Is there a simple way to fix this? Is there a role model we can uniformly look up to?

            The answer to the above questions and more is Rama. Sanatana Dharma views the individual subject as Jiva. The remainder of living and non living entities that makes the rest is Jagat. The Jiva perceives a constant lack in itself that keeps urging it to fulfill or take it from the world. This is the driver behind desires. The Jagat may not only supply but also extract something in return from the Jiva. There is a third more important entity that envelope both the Jiva and the Jagat, which is more than the sum total, Ishwara. This Ishwara operates in the Jagat as Dharma. Every time some Dharma is perceived as operational, the hand of bhagawan can be felt.

            The natural bias that creeps into every relationship due to the subjectivity and vasanas which favors one participant over the other that upsets the symbiosis can easily be rectified. By upholding Dharma, which is quite subtle to understand or follow, one can raise above the subject-object interaction, thereby enhancing the quality of relationship and greater benefit to all participants.

Rama’s stellar example: Rama is often referred as Maryada Purushottama. His opponent, Mareecha described him as रामो विग्रहवान् धर्मः (Ramo vigrahavan dharmaha – the embodiment of dharma). Throughout his life we see his struggle a lot, yet pursue an arduous path to uphold dharma at all costs. It also seems to seemingly conflict in certain cases, due to our ignorant thinking; something we can quickly dispel by studying great acharyas insights. Why so much fuss about Dharma and why so much struggle? Is there evidence it really raised the quality of relationship? Let us dive into some relationships Rama had with others and immensely benefit from this exercise.

Rama and his parents: Rama was the heartbeat of Dasaratha.  Rama fulfilled every wish even before Dasaratha uttered. He treated his step mothers as his own. Understanding that Dasaratha was in trouble, even before trying to comprehend, he promises Kaikeyi that Dasaratha’s words will be honored. Satya is at the heart of Sanatana Dharma.

  • Dharma follower: Relationships are based on mutual trust. Personal discomfort is not even a factor when honoring dharma. Dasaratha’s words were to be honored. The issue is not why son, as in Ikshavakus have wonderful examples in Harischandra and Bhagiratha.

Citizens of Ayodhya: Rama could have easily followed Dasaratha’s desire or Lakshmana’s outrage and led a rebellion which would have had no opposition. All the citizens wanted Rama to lead. Many even followed him to the shores of Ganga. Rama threw them off track. Bharata brought all the citizens to Chitrakoota to influence Rama and to crown him. Though Dasaratha was dead, all his wives, brothers, citizens and rishis wanted him to rule, Rama was fixated on Satya and Dharma. Even Jaabali’s twisted arguments failed to dent Rama’s resolve.

  • Do not waver from Dharma: Concessions will be given when one follows extreme dharma. The test is not to lower the standards. Imagine a Ramayana where Rama went back to appease his citizens. It would have demonstrated his love for their words, at the cost of sacrificing dharma.

Rishis: The real relationship Rama proactively sought throughout is his life was the company of Rishis. Satsangha was at the heart of Rama’s focus on Dharma. The message Rama gives through his personal example is to constantly focus on Satsangha, as that is the only anti dote to counter the ailments of the Jagat. The western prism reduces this to glorifying casteism. One must note that Sabari and her guru, neither belonged to this categorization, as rishis transcend varnas, which are only for societal organization.

  • Constant Satsangha is required to protect Dharma, the understanding and observance of which gets diluted by merely living our daily lives.

Brothers of Rama: The equation of Rama was different with his different brothers. They also looked at him uniquely. Lakshmana argues with Rama to keep his privileges to serve him. Bharata is ready to surrender his personal desires to observe Rama’s words at any cost. He is ready to bargain for some concessions and makes his own stance by taking a vow. Shatrughna is happy to serve the Bhagavata than Bhagawan. All three have unique relationships, though all are different forms of the same intense love they have for Rama.

  • The common factor amongst all the brothers is their love and respect for Rama, yet there is strong independence to express their vasanas. Relationships cannot be conformant to rigid ideas and must have their liberty to evolve in a dharmic way. Perception and following of dharma will differ depending on our understanding and practice.

Sita: The most brilliant example of happy relationships. We may deal with her relationship to Rama exclusively separately.

  • We already saw the idea of Dharma follower and enabler. No better example exists in Ramayana as dharma enabler. She lives to the words of her father Janaka, who gives her hand in marriage to Rama by saying इयं सीता मम सुता सहधर्मचरी तव  (iyam sita mama suta sahadharmchari tava VR 1-73-26b)
  •  Sita fights for her right to follow her dharma. Rama initially applies a superficial dharma to protect her from the forest life. When she vehemently reacted, Rama acknowledges her position as highly correct and is very pleased to oblige.
  • Sita never hesitates to clarify if Rama seemingly was turning towards a gray area. Though Rama never did, she kept an active channel of questioning. In a happy relationship, one or both the players must do this dharma check and have the courage to bring it back. Though Vibhishana does a similar role for Ravana, only go get his life threatened. Freedom to question the motives of actions in relationships based on dharma is very vital for happy relationships.

Guha: Good lasting relationships are always with equals. One’s status in life maybe very different outside the relationship, but for a lasting thriving relationship, the players must be on equal footing. Rama demonstrates that by declaring Guha, a mere boatman belonging to a forest tribe, as his brother. Rama saw the pure heart of the simpleton Guha, who would even want to validate Lakshmana’s love and question Bharata’s intentions with an army for the sake of his love for Rama.

  • Pure intentions are at the heart of good relationships. Good relationships are always inclusive, but grounded in dharma.

Jatayu: Rama first saw this bird, mortally wounded. The bird fought valiantly as dharma enabler, despite knowing its chances against Ravana were none.

  • When dharma is replaced by convenience and selfishness, relationships turn sour.
  • Though fighting for a worthy cause, Jatayu gave its breath, its actions made Rama to grace the bird with Moksha.
  • Dharma observance even in small relationships like being a good traveler in a bus or worker in office, with a right attitude will protect our mind from being corrupt. But when one observes it in bigger relationships like a marriage, it leads to the mutual growth, depending on how much we translate these dharmic thoughts into action.

Kabandha/Sabari/Vaali/Sugriva:  Escaping from the death grip of Kabandha, following his instructions, Rama destroys his body to release the Gandharva Danu from his curse. Per his suggestion, he seeks out Sabari who gives directions to find Sugriva, who is oppressed by his brother Vaali.

  • Even if relationship is brief, like with Kabandha, if it is based on Satya and Dharma, goodness accrues.
  •  Sabari shows a different level of relationship, one steeped in bhakti. Rama partakes the pretasted portions of fruits, making Lakshmana gasp. Purity and devotedness are the hallmarks of good dharmic relationships.
  • Sugriva though the beneficiary of Kabandha’s insight to Rama, is happy to slip back to worldly pleasures. Rama not only gives him a long rope of months, but also is cautious to restrain Lakshmana who was sent as a messenger. Relationships are based on being flexible and forgiveness. We get the idea of forgiveness is a natural evolution in Santana Dharma as we dive deep in Ahalya’s vimochana.
  • Sugriva gets a long roadmap to evolve in his relationship with Rama. He begins with suspicion, and then casts doubts on Rama’s abilities and then his intention, graduates to getting immersed into worldly ways and then wake up to his duties. He is ready to give his entirety – all the resources in his kingdom and their lives at the feet of Rama’s mission. All Dharmic relationships evolve for the better, unlike regular relationships that can hit a roller coaster.
  • Following Dharma even in dire circumstances comes with big benefits.

Vibhishana: Rama was quick to spot the certainty of Vibhishana and his commitment to Dharma, hence granted Saranagati, despite being a brother of the enemy.

  • Doubts and confusion from others must not rock the relationship if it is built on Dharma. Trust is a mere outward recognition.
  • Dharma gives strength and meaning to the actions as Vibhishana is never confused on the reasons to oppose Ravana. He is not driven by desire to get glory or power, though Rama coronates him, even ahead of the war.

Ravana: It will be hard to omit Rama’s relationship even with the enemy. He was fair. He let go of Ravana’s spies – Suka and Charana, who were caught by Vibhishana. He grants them not only life, but also all the information they had come for.  Rama lets Ravana go after thoroughly defeating him, instead of killing. After his death, when Vibhishana refuses to light his pyre. Rama advises him to give up enmity in his heart as it is pertaining to only the body.

  • Only when one sees even the enemy with respect, one’s stature grows. In inimical relationships, the grounding is Dharma. This is very evident when Hanuman seeks a boon to crush all the rakshasis who tormented Sita. Sita teaches humanity a lesson by seeking to forgive circumstance driven violence and give a chance to reform.

Hanuman: This relationship is beyond words to fathom. Hanuman saw Rama as Brahman personified not due to his fear or desire, but due to deep personal understanding and knowledge. This gave him exquisite opportunities to tap unlimited resources within at a time of crisis.

  • Relationship is rooted in dharma, not one’s desires and aspirations or duties. The errors in having happy, prosperous relationships are owing to the ignorance about dharma as a key factor.
  • Dharma follower and enabler are critical for the ecosystem. Note that Dharma cannot be imposed like a human law as it operates in a different realm. Dharma understanding comes with Satsangha and study of scriptures, but real insight comes only by sincere practice.
  • Observance and operating from Dharma allows us to operate beyond the pleasure-pain paradigm that is the driver for Desires, which push us on the perilous path of Karma resulting in Janma which is needed to exhaust the vasana baggage and pushing us in an endless cycle of misery called Samsara. 
  • When there is abject dejection, merely following and upholding dharma opens the door of options to betterment and hope.
  • The subject (Jiva) ignores the domain within, the one that is rooted in vasanas, raga dvesha (likes and dislikes). It believes incorporating the object of desire from Jagat will make it more complete, but due to this desire and attachment, overlooks dharma operating in the Jagat. Thus, ignoring the within and dharma outside, the skewed approach to relationships is at the root of all failed relationships.
    
    Ishwara, the all pervading, operates as Dharma in both the subject and Jagat. Rama with his overbearing focus on Dharma repeatedly draws our attention to this subtle ishwara tattva. Ignoring Ishwara/Dharma operating in our lives will always result in catastrophic breakdown. Merely praying to this Tattva and not practicing will do us no good. May we look at Rama’s brilliant example and strive our best to emulate the subtle ideas he has lived by. May we meditate constantly upon his lotus feet to gain the strength and wisdom to understand Dharma and practice it in our daily lives. This will result in every relationship to blossom into the best, but more importantly guide us always back to Dharma. Jai Shri Ram.

 

ॐ तत् सत

Saturday, February 20, 2021

Mudgala - the man who rejected svarga

            Itihasapuranas are filled with many wondrous examples for all of us to celebrate and emulate. There are stalwarts who pushed the limits of observing dharma to great heights. Today we see them as almost impossible standards. Interestingly even in the times past when dharma was widely upheld, these exemplars have set standards that guide us like a beacon and widely celebrated. Srimad Bhagavatam talks very highly of Harischandra (for his struggle to observe satyam), Rantideva (for his equal vision to see bhagavan in all and to put others needs ahead of his) and the Raja Shibi (for upholding dharma by sacrificing his own flesh). Bhagavatam also venerates Bali (grandson of Prahlada), the hunter and pigeon (the pigeon set the example by self sacrifice whilst the hunter got vairagya and applied it in his life). In the same sloka is venerated Unchavritti Mudgala, the subject of our research.

हरिश्चन्द्रो रन्तिदेव उञ्छवृत्ति: शिबिर्बलि: । व्याध: कपोतो बहवो ह्यध्रुवेण ध्रुवं गता: ॥ hariścandro rantideva uñchavṛttiḥ śibir baliḥ vyādhaḥ kapoto bahavo hy adhruveṇa dhruvaṁ gatāḥ (SB 10-72-21)

All of us are desirous of the best things in life. We also want it for the longest period of time. Svarga represents a place where there is no negative and it is the fullest manifestation of all things pleasurable. Yet there was a person who rejected it as if it meant nothing. Was that call made with good understanding or was it a rash act under delusion?

Storytime:

            Mahabharata is a treasure trove filled with priceless gems. Banished after the loss in dice game, Yudhishtra harbors untold misery, which is compounded by periodic outrage and outbursts of the other Pandavas and Draupadi. The Vana Parva captures the details. To alleviate the mental agony, the Pandavas seek the feet of many Rishis and also undertake many pilgrimages. Maharishi Vyasa was one such great force that inspired them accounts of the pasts to uplift their spirits and keep them steadfast on the path of Dharma. The mention of how a drona (Tamil equivalent is பதக்கு - Padakku) of grain given away earned immortality for Mudgala piqued Yudhishtra’s curiosity, who wanted a detailed account.

            Mudgala, a resident of Kurukshetra, was deeply rooted in Satya, dharma and free from all forms of malice. He practiced silavritti (collecting leftover grains from places of harvest or collection centers) and unchavritti (collecting leftover grains, one grain at a time from the fields that have been harvested, this is also referred as kapotavritti, as it mimics pecking of grains like a pigeon). Mudgala had complete mastery over his senses. He was renowned for the practice of ishtikrita sacrifice and offered his athithis the yagna offerings. In this wondrous observance, he along with his wife, sons and daughters would gather one drona measure of grains for fifteen days. He would celebrate Amavasya and Pournami by offering the deities and athithis, they consumed the rest. Indra and other devatas eagerly partook these highly sanctified offerings. Since Mudgala offered with sheer happiness all that he got, the food grew to always match the needs of the athithis. Hundreds would eat from his hands as the annam grew due to his daanashuddhi.

            Maharishi Durvasa, renowned for his angry words and strange spiritual practices, arrived at Mudgala’s and informed he was hungry. Mudgala worshipped him with padya, achamaneeya and offered food with respect. Durvasa ate all the food and smeared his body of the remains to ensure there was nothing left. (It was customary to eat the remains, uchchishta, of such mahatmas.) Unlike feeding other athithis, after Durvasa ate the food became empty (due to his taposhakti).  Mudgala and his family continued with their unchavritti to gather grains for the next fortnight, without any ripple in their mind of hunger or wondering about the lost opportunity to feed.

            Durvasa arrived again the next fortnight to perform a repeat. Seeing Mudgala and his family still content and not even having a trace of disturbance in their mind, Durvasa came again and again six times. At the end of the sixth visit he declared that there was no one equivalent to Mudgala in Daana. Hunger dents all the senses and pushes one to extremes. Even in that state, Mudgala had no trace of anger. Every time he was able to offer all the food, collected with great difficulty and over months of hunger, his heart was content and happy to offer the entire food to Mudgala. Durvasa explained that the hunger can bend every dharma perception or practice and tongue is adept in drawing the mind towards the sensory pleasures. Having tamed them, rising above the mind’s strong pull and still retaining the goodness of heart to share what is available showcases the exalted state of Mudgala. Durvasa acknowledged that Mudgala was brimming with sense control, fortitude, sharing whatever that is available, sama, dama, Satyam and dharma. Durvasa was singing great eulogies of Mudgala and declared that he is qualified to live in the highest worlds. He blessed him that he will achieve the highest svarga.

Merits and flaws of Svarga: Even as Durvasa was speaking highly, a Devadhoota, messenger from svarga descended in a divine chariot and requested him to board. He declared that Mudgala has earned this right from the merits of his tapasya. Mudgala inquired about the traits of svarga residents, their austerities and purpose. He also wanted to know about the disadvantages or flaws in Svarga. This short association with the pious Devadhoota was deemed as friendship and Mudgala wanted a true account as a friend and informed that his decision will be based on this insight. (We saw the same principle of friendship was used by Savitri to please Yama and win the life of her dead husband, Satyavan)

            The Devadhoota informed that the higher region of Svarga is not easily attainable. One can qualify only through extreme sense control or through performing many dharmic deeds like yaga/yagnas or acts of valor in battlefield. These worlds where all desire is fulfilled is many depending if one were a deva, maharishis, sadhyas, vaiwas, yama, dharmas, gandharvas and apsaras. There is no hunger, thirst, fear or anything inauspicious. Every sensory pleasure is extremely gratifying. There is no old age, dullness, sorrow, tears or repentance. One goes there through the merits of their own punyakarma. The good Karma accumulated in this world is the currency in Svarga. This is not obtained from someone or even inherited from parents. The ones who attain svarga enjoy all these and more, devoid of envy, fatigue, grief, ignorance and malice.

            Beyond Svarga is the brilliant Brahmaloka, which is the abode of Rishis. The Devas worship certain exalted beings, Ribhus. Ribhus do not need amrita, unlike devas, nor do they need oblations from yagas. They are beyond the impact of Kalpa, time. They are beyond happiness and misery. Such is the state that Devas covet this glorious state. These worlds number at thirty three and are achieved only by the highest feats of austerities and transcending good and bad. As you have earned your entry through sheer good karma and tapas, please alight on the vehicle and repair to such wondrous worlds.

            The Devadhoota proceeded to now expound the flaws of svarga. The duration of one’s stay in svarga is dependent of the good merits one has accumulated. With the expiry of good deeds, comes a steep fall. The fall is very painful as one is able to perceive the different states and the inferior current position, which is hard to bear and agitates the emotions tumultuously. Fear replaces joy in the heart. These flaws extend all the way to the regions in the Brahma’s Satyaloka.  Depending on the remainder of the merit, the jiva comes back to this mrtyuloka to earn further merits. Hence it is referred as Karmabhumi or Phalabhumi. If the leftover merits are good, the birth occurs in a good family as a human or otherwise. The Devadhoota urged Mudgala to hasten his entry to svarga.

            Mudgala felt the drawbacks of Svarga were too daunting to accept this offer, besides his intention was not chasing after pleasures. Mudgala wondered if there are any lokas without such flaws. The Devadhuta informed that Vishnuloka or Vaikunta that exists beyond Satyaloka is free of such demerits. To qualify one must not have the least trace of arrogance, greed, anger, delusion, ignorance or envy. Only by overcoming the senses and established in the Supreme thought of Brahman, one can reach this world of ParaBrahman.

            Mudgala declined the request of the Devadhoota as he understood that pleasurable worlds are very temporary coupled with a steep fall. Also since he reached the state through contentment, he was happy not to seek more pleasures. He firmly understood the real purpose and pinnacle of every jiva’s existence is Moksha or param dham as Vaikunta. He reverted back to his Unchha mode of life, filled with contentment. He shone in Brahmatejas with his thoughts that rose above praise and dispraise; treating both gold and mud block as the same. He extracted the senses from the sense objects and had a firm control over his mind, which he submitted to his Jiva. This is the same recipe Sri Krishna gives Arjuna in Bhagavad Gita 6-5. This collected complete Jiva was submitted at the feet of the Ishwara through dhyana, thus claiming his entry to Moksha from where there is no return to samsara.

            Mudgala not only got entry to an immortal world, but also immortal fame by setting very high standards, by rejecting the highly sought after pleasurable world of svarga. Vyasa pointed out that human existence revolves around the axle of repeated happiness and misery. He will be able to regain his kingdom by performing austerities like Mudgala.

What is in it for me? Now comes the biggest question, so what, how does it matter to me.

Hidden doorways of hunger and anger: Kama and Krodha are deeply interlinked. The element of self preservation is at the core of every living being. Since the jiva wrongly, yet firmly believes it to be a body, preservation of its body by satisfying the pangs of hunger at any and every cost. Hunger is more of a pent up need, craving. Though it is easy to understand it as a wave caused by the ghrelin hormone, it is also tied to the mind. Intense build up of desire results in extreme hankering, which is also referred as hunger in many Indian languages. Any obstruction to the desire fulfillment morphs into anger and its intensity is proportional to the degree of hankering and/or attachment.

            Mudgala demonstrates a very high degree of restraint, which was tested to the limits by Durvasa and also the temptation by the Devadhoota. Even under dire circumstances, Mudgala was rooted in santhushta (contentment). The contented state is declared as the golden state of the mind that produces elixir (போதும் என்ற மனமே பொன் செய்யும் மருந்து - Pothum endra maname pon seyyum marunthu). Desire is the state of the mind where the jiva feels the need for something external for its completeness. It may be the next meal or another person or mere idea of being respected. Mudgala’s episode is worth pondering deeply as it has layers of information beneath the simple story.

Starvation is not fasting: Many people are poor and starve regularly in the world around us. Yet we do not come across Mudgala equivalents. Starvation or forced conditions, either from outside or within, do not produce these desirable changes in the mind. This is the same reason mere rituals fail to produce the highly spoken of results. The mind has to be engaged in a steady fashion with a thorough understanding of the different factors. This can happen subconsciously by cultivating high idealistic virtues or by consciously diving and scrubbing the depths of the mind.

            Many Sanatana Dharma practices include vrathas (that train periodic fasting on auspiscious occasions), yet also has many opportunities for festivals to exactly counter the hankering of the mind. By repeatedly training the mind becomes stronger and doesn’t crave. In the same way, training the mind to focus on a higher goal and realize its real SELF weans its firm grip on the lower. Trying to force this on the mind normally results in violent and disastrous consequences.

            Mudgala practiced a very extreme form, which was in vogue in modified form, even in early 20th century. The bedrock of such practice is to enjoy only what is left out and deemed as no value to others, being contented with what one gets, doing daana with even those meager options and contemplate on higher ideals. Mudgala even though subjected repeatedly to extreme testing of Durvasa is firmly rooted in santosha.

Don’t let the good overlook the better and best:  A normal sensory driven life is a choice for everyone. Mudgala chose the path of self restraint by slowly training his mind. The fruits of such a practice attracted even the Devas to come and partake the havis (offering). It culminated in an open invitation to come and enjoy every conceivable pleasure in svarga. Mudgala not only demonstrated extreme santhushta but also a keen sense of balance and intellect, even after fasting for months. He wanted to know the pros and cons of svarga. He was keen on understanding what was the best using this wonderful opportunity to quiz the Devadhoota.

            Many mistake being contented means to not aspire for the higher. Contentment gives us the firm foundation to launch ourselves towards the highest, rather than get distracted with the good. Getting out of this eternal samsaric cycle is of highest good, which makes it an easy choice to look beyond the pleasures of svarga, provided the mind is contented.

The secret is all Karma: Karma is born from every action, due to our wrongful association. Karma causes Janma, which is the reason for more Karma. Most religions relate the fruits of our life or hereafter to Karma. But except Sanatana Dharma, none proceed beyond the titillating pleasures of svarga or evil side effects of naraka. Most religions try to market themselves that merely signing up on their side, all bad karmas are negated and good karmas are multiplied infinitely that one stays in svarga forever. These appeal only to the intellectual dullard as its emotional marketing.

            The currency of our enjoyment of our own deeds is our own Karma. The Karmaphala gets exhausted once we enjoy it. Mudgala’s questioning brings out this fact. Interestingly the Devadhoota also highlights the fact that our world is the only place we earn more Karmas, hence refers it as Karmabhumi. One may enjoy the fruits in svarga or naraka but can only earn more Karma in this loka. Mudgala understood that even the highest Satyaloka is a temporary place to stay fueled by our own karma. Hence he looked beyond to extricate himself out of this never ending cycle of Karma-Janma-Karma.

            Mudgala benefited himself immensely from his association with the Devadhoota. Instead of treating him as a transporter, he used him as a person of resource who freely gave more information. Santosha earned him the privilege to chat with the Devadhoota, yet it was this satsangha that propels him to the beyond. Regular satsangha is the key to keeping us on the path of dharma, stay inspired and focused, and is an assured proven safe easy way to Moksha. Yoga Vasishta declares satsangha as one of the four sentinels that guard the citadel of Moksha, along with santosha. May we strive to periodically associate with such wisdom by regularly studying Itihasapuranas, the Upanishads and the Bhagavad Gita. May we continue to protect this flickering lamp of good buddhi by reinforcing more fuel in the form of our good karmas.

 

ॐ तत् सत